damion_starr: (Default)
2010-06-11 12:40 am
Entry tags:

Life Sucks Right Now

I need someone to talk to, but I'm afraid to bring it up. It's not about me, it's about my mom, and I'm terrified that she'll be judged unfairly, but I'm so stressed out over it I've been nauseous all day.

The last two days have been...bad. She's been confused and practically incoherent. She'll forget what she said as soon as the sentence left her mouth. She thought it was five when it was one, and she thought it was the 18th. And this isn't the first time it's happened, but it was the first time in a while. Mostly because all last summer she was in hospital.

My dad keeps accusing her of taking something, and he may not be entirely unfounded. She tends to self-medicate. I want to give her the benefit of a doubt, but it's so hard to stay positive in these circumstances. I'm terrified she'll leave the house and hurt someone. I can't take Dad yelling at her, but I understand. He's scared. I am too.

All day I kept praying he'd just take her to the hospital or she'd finally lay down. I don't know what I'll do if it's like this again tomorrow. I'll probably just snap and tell Dad to take her to the fucking hospital.

I can't take this anymore. It's not fucking fair. I'm not supposed to be the goddamn responsible one here. Why the hell am I the adult?
And it seems like for the last month everytime I start to have a good day, something comes along and knocks me on my ass. Why? What the fuck have I done to deserve this? I try to be a good person, I really do. WTF Universe?!